GINA MORTIMER STORR

I am slowly getting back to being my “normal” self, after the somewhat sudden loss of one of my best and almost life long girlfriends. One day we were hanging out and squealing like the college girls we were more than 30 years ago and the next, she was lying in a coma and soon after that, I watched as she lay dying!

According to Wikipedia, one definition of friendship is:

“the cooperative and supportive relationship between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.”

After three weeks she came out of the coma and although she could not talk, her great writing skills let us communicate and we were definitely expecting to pick up where we left off, on out next Third Saturday get-together.

But, it was not to be.  Instead, she left us on Friday, February 19th, the day before our next scheduled 3rd Saturday outing and our next  get-together was when I said goodbye publicly  at her memorial service.

Here is what I had to say:

At the end of our last outing on January 23rd, Cathy gave me a gift, and when I opened it I said: “I hope this comes with some money” “ She responded: “well, at least it if doesn’t have money in it, it sure looks like you do!”

(Here is that beautiful gift – which I shared with those present)

Gift from Cathy

When I lost my father to a traffic fatality in 2005, I was always searching for something, anything, to help me get through another day. Into about the third year, surprisingly, that something came in the form a simple quote found on a headstone in Ireland:

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory, no one can steal”

When I came across this quote, it was as if it had been written for me as it confirmed my feeling that the heartache I was feeling, would never heal and that it was alright to feel that way. More importantly, it reminded me that the many cherished memories I had of my father, can never be taken away. From that moment on, I have been able to live with the heartache because the memories are like a balm that soothes.

All of you that are struggling like I am, I encourage you to think of Cathy as she lived and draw from the memories that she created with each of you.

As for me, I am so grateful that I have so many awesome memories, as Cathy and I go way back!  As an impressionable  freshman at  Bethune-Cookman, Cathy, who was a Sophomore,  was one of the first persons I latched onto and although I could not know it at the time, I realized many years later that even then, God had put her in my life for a reason. Ours was a friendship started as many college friendships do: we were both among the” finest” young women on campus and had attracted a pair of roommates, who brought us together for double dating!

Although we seemed at first to be as different as day and night since I was loud and boisterous while Cathy was quite the introvert, it soon became clear that we were in fact “Kindred Spirits”. I stand here today because in many ways, my friendship with Kathy saved my life! You see, as a young, carefree teenager set loose on the big bad world, I did not always make the best decisions. After a few scrapes and stumbles, I soon came to appreciate that Cathy was not just my friend, but she was my Sister.  As a result, I often paused to ponder what Cathy might think of my actions and because I never wanted to disappoint her, it helped shape who I am today.

Sadly, as often happens, once Cathy left Cookman then a year later I returned to my native Bahamas, we lost touch. However, I can tell you that Cathy continued to influence me in many ways as I thought of her often and drew on the wisdom and examples she had provided.

Fast forward to September 2007:  after encountering Cathy’s sister at an event, it was game on! She and I reconnected and discovered that there was now a mere 45 minutes between us! Our first “reunion” was in Lakeland and her husband can attest to the fact that we were like college kids again and, have not only stayed in touch, but spent some awesome times together on a monthly basis! We became the 3rd (or 4th) Saturday Divas.

As we exchanged visits in our homes, we also made some pretty interesting discoveries: we both had the exact same comforter set; we both had a bathroom decorated with a shell theme and we both had two garments that were identical.   And off course, as we planned our outings, we discovered that we both love to shop!

Over these last two years of 3rd or 4th Saturday outings, Cathy and I shared our deepest secrets and our wildest dreams for the future. We cried together and laughed together. In fact, we had so reconnected that we had a joke that people who did not know us probably thought we were a “couple” instead of just friends since, it was not uncommon for us to be seen walking in a hug or holding hands intimately. You see, we could not help ourselves, as the “Kindred Spirits” had come home!

As I close, let me say again how thankful to God I am for the time to reconnect and, as I started, I want to leave you with another powerful quote: “Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”

And remember: cry all you want as, “there is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief……..and an unspeakable love.”

Cathy White Worthen 1954 - 2010

CATHY MY FRIEND, MY SISTER, REST IN PEACE ALWAYS

I still feel such a deep sadness and am still shocked by the loss. Mostly, I yearn for more great times with my friend and, for the part I would play in the fulfillment of her newly expressed dreams. However, because I know she would insist that I continue to live with laughter and using my passion to make a difference, I am able to move forward with her wind at my back!

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” – Anais Nin

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